Boundaries
Being pregnant or having a baby can open the door for many outside opinions as well as actions from others that may make us feel uncomfortable. It’s a time when co-workers love to share their delivery stories that may scare us or when strangers feel they can reach out and touch our bellies without asking. It’s also a time when family members may take a step closer, sometimes bringing critical parents, in-laws, or extended family members even closer into your personal space.
Boundaries are helpful. They are rules you set for yourself. And it is healthy to have them. When our boundaries are loose we can get upset and spiral into anger, anxiety, or sadness when others cross them.
Here are 4 steps to having better boundaries.
What do you feel?
Notice when you feel uncomfortable. When you want to cry. When you get angry. When you get butterflies in your stomach or a burning sensation in your throat. Feelings are messengers. These can be signs that your boundaries have been crossed.
Identify your boundaries.
Make a list of your personal boundaries. Fill in the blank, “People may not…….”
Touch my stomach without asking.
Come over without asking first.
Stay longer than 3 days.
Move my stuff.
Clean things without asking.
Leave my house messy.
Call me names.
Comment on my weight.
Comment on how I choose to feed my baby.
Comment on how I choose to put my baby to bed.
Comment on if I pick my baby up every time they cry.
Think of your own.
I have the right to
Ask my doctor for more explanation.
Ask not to be ignored in my own house.
To have privacy.
To block people from my Facebook account.
To not share photos.
To not have visitors in the hospital.
To say, it’s not ok for you to comment on my weight.
To say that I know I said I would get together today but that my baby didn’t sleep and I am exhausted and need to cancel.
Internal Shield
Check your internal shield when a critical parent, in-law, friend, co-worker, boss, stranger, heck, with anyone, says something that makes you feel your boundaries have been crossed.
First, is what they are saying true?
2. How much is this about them and not me?
3. What do I need to do to regain my personal power or to stand up for myself?
And these are all lessons you will teach your kids one day. :)))