How to Stop a Worry Cycle with a Scary Thought
10 Things to Know About Thoughts that Scare Us
We have 6400 thoughts every day! That’s 400 thoughts every hour.
Thoughts aren’t real.
Caffeine can amp up these thoughts along with lack of sleep and not getting enough protein throughout the day.
Watching the news or scary crime shows is not good if we are having a lot of these scary thoughts. Only good things in so only good things come out.
These thoughts don’t mean you are a bad mom, it’s quite the opposite.
When we get scared or anxious about something it shows us what we care about, what we love.
These thoughts are part of the primitive mommy brain on overdrive. Think super protective, thinking of every dangerous scenario to keep the baby safe.
These kinds of thoughts come from the same place where attachment comes from in the brain. Some women, this can get the wires crossed and ignite these thoughts when the attachment part of their brain is stimulated. So if you are thinking these thoughts make you a bad mom, it’s quite the opposite.
When you have one of these thoughts, say STOP. Now grab a piece of paper, or use the note section of your phone. And write the thought out.
Example: I am scared something bad will happen when we drive on the car over the bridge. What if the car goes off and we fall in the water and how will I get my baby out?
Next, write how this thought makes you feel.
Example: This thought makes me feel terrified. I feel scared and helpless. It makes me not want to go anywhere. I feel like just by thinking it, I will make it happen.
Reframe. Now see if you can rewrite this thought.
Example: Thousands of people have driven this bridge and nothing has ever happened to them. We have driven this bridge a hundred times and nothing has ever happened. My car has really great breaks, if something were to happen we can break really fast and be safe. This thought is telling me how much I love my baby and care for her. She is safe. And I am safe.
Take a breath and give your brain something else to think about.
Example: See if you can name characters from Harry Potter from A-Z. Or try countries or States, or capitals. Give yourself something else to thinking about. Break the thought loop.
Is this thought true?
Challenge the thought, ask yourself, is this thought true?
Example: My baby is crying all of the time. I can’t soothe her. She must hate me. I am a terrible mom.
Is this thought absolutely true?
Take an even closer look, is there a different way to see it?
Example: My baby is tired and she has colic. That must be very painful for her and she has no other way to say how much it hurts except for crying. The reason this makes me feel so bad is that I don’t want her to be in pain. I am doing my best to make her feel better. This makes me a good mom. I am frustrated with her.
How does this thought make me feel?
Name your feelings.
Example: My first thought makes me feel sad. Like I am a failure. Like I am worthless.
What would it feel like if I didn’t have this thought?
What would it feel like?
Example: If I didn’t have this thought I would feel lighter, like I was a good mom, and that this is hard, but I am here attending to her needs. I would feel like I am worthy to be her mom.