Thoughts Aren’t Facts
We have so many thoughts every day. A new study says we have as many as 6,000 thoughts in one day. That’s 250 thoughts every hour! Some thoughts can make us feel happy and others, like negative thoughts, can make us feel sad, or anxious, or even mad. The way we feel can tell us if a thought we are having is positive or negative. Sometimes we can get stuck on a negative thought and have it bother us for hours, days, or even weeks.
Some examples of negative thoughts are:
“I am a terrible mom.”
“I should have never become a mom.”
“I am not cut out to be a mom.”
“Every other mom but me has this mom thing figured out.”
“My baby hates me.”
“What if something bad happens.”
When you find yourself stuck on a negative thought, try to remember the following:
Question: Is this thought true?
Challenge the thought. Ask yourself, is this thought true?
Example: My baby is crying all of the time. I can’t soothe her. She must hate me. I am a terrible mom.
2. Is this thought absolutely true?
Take an even closer look. Is there a different way to see what’s happening? How would a good friend look at the same situation?
Example: My baby is tired and she has colic. That must be very painful for her and she has no other way to say how much it hurts except for crying. The reason this makes me feel so bad is that I don’t want her to be in pain. I am doing my best to make her feel better. This makes me a good mom. I am frustrated with her and I have never done this before. I am still learning.
3. How does this thought make me feel?
Name your feelings.
Example: My first thought makes me feel sad. Like I am a failure. Like I am worthless.
4. What would it feel like if I didn’t have this thought?
What would it feel like?
Example: If I didn’t have this thought I would feel lighter, like I was a good mom, and that this is hard, but I am here attending to her needs. I would feel like I am worthy to be her mom and I know this won’t last forever, even if this is really hard right now.