Postpartum Mom Needing Support 

From CC: 

Hi Julie, My name is Maureen and I am your Mammha Care Coordinator. I work with Dr. X with her postpartum moms to make sure they are feeling ok and if they need some extra support to make sure they get the best support they can. Dr. X asked me to check in on you. Is text ok or do you prefer talking by phone?  

From Mom: 

Hi, thank you for reaching out. Text would be great. 

From CC: 

Great. I saw your screen, it looks like you may be having some anxiety. How are you feeling? Have you noticed a little anxiety? 

From Mom: 

Yes, I think I definitely have anxiety since/before giving birth. A lot of changes all at once. 😬 

From CC: 

Sorry for not responding sooner. I had to take my kids to the park. And yes, so many changes! Is this your first baby? And everyone is finally seeing that some women don't get depressed after having a baby, it looks more like anxiety, worry. If you feel comfortable sharing, what does the anxiety look like? I have a lot of different techniques that can help depending on what the anxiety looks like. Also, if you are interested, I know of some amazing therapists who take your insurance that can help with anxiety after having a baby. If you are interested I can definitely help connect you. :) 

From Mom: 

It's ok. Yes, it's my first. I go through the different scenarios of everything that could go wrong. Our lease was up in October but we were able to extend until end of December but with how the market is we ended up moving into my in-laws because they are only here for the weekday and gone during Thursday- Monday to their beach apartment. So it hasn't only been a new baby changes it's been a new house, living with in laws in their house. I hate imposing on people so instead of just taking care of baby and myself... I am making sure the house is picked up that a baby bottle doesn't stay in sink more than a minute without being washed etc. I feel uncomfortable here but I can't share that with my husband because I don't want to make him feel bad. They are allowing us to stay free to save up more money to buy our own house, and gave us three bedrooms to use. I feel ungrateful but I am frustrated and anxious being here. Days where I just want to nap because I am exhausted from being up all night I can't because once baby is asleep I need to make sure sink is clean type of thing. And I know I am the one putting that pressure on myself! I do have a therapist already I have been seeing her for about a year now. She is helping me not worry about what my in laws think and just take care of myself and baby right now. 

From CC: 

So hard Julie! It is so challenging to have in-laws visit, but to have them living with you and being in their house is a lot of pressure. I can't even imagine not being able to rest with a new baby and to feel like everything has to be perfect and also not being able to share it with your partner because you don't want to burden or sound ungrateful. How long do you have to live there? Do they like to help with the baby? And are you able to get out during the day and take a walk with the baby or go to a class with the baby? We have a beautiful mom group that I think you will love. So many amazing women who are experiencing very similar feelings. It's so nice to know you aren't the only one. And I think they are wanting to organize a day to meet up which is so nice. 

From CC: 

I am going to send you the link for the invite. It's on Friday's at 11 am, online. You can listen with earbuds so no one has to hear. :) I remember living in a different country once when I was 24 and I had to live in a family's house. IT WAS SO HARD! Are you doing anything for you during the week? Getting to take a nice shower? Listen to a podcast? Put on a yoga youtube video? Watch netflix? 

From Mom: 

Here is the link to the group. :) https://www.mammha.com/virtual-support-groups 

We would LOVE to have you! 

From Mom: 

The plan was to do 6 months to max a year. We have money saved and wanted to save more but with how the housing market is right now it's quite difficult. My mother in law helps a lot with the baby. But I struggle with how much because knowing them I don't want them to say that it's a burden or that I am taking advantage. I know a lot of the stress I am in is caused by me with the added pressures that I put on myself... I have started to have a bit of me time when I am pumping. I do it in my room and put on Netflix but then if my husband is not around I take the baby with me in case he gets fussy he doesn't bother them. 😣 my current escape is going to my parents house on the weekends as that's my happy place and I am able to relax and not feel guilty about handing over the baby to my mom or sister in law for feedings and diaper changes etc. While I just sit on the couch and vegetate and take a break from being responsible for his needs. I will try to join this Friday. 

From CC:

 I love that you have a happy place! And I love that your mom and sister in law let you just relax. You deserve it and need it. I wish or wonder if you could go to your mom's house during the week? Just for the mornings or the afternoons? Or for 2 hours a day? Something to give you some more moments during the week where you can feel a little more free and relaxed. It's not forever, but girl you deserve a medal for what you are doing right now! It's hard. Even under the best intentions it's hard living with other people. I will remind you about the group on Friday. :) And is there something you can do today that will make you feel like you? Fill you back up? Some moms like to go to target and look at the end caps. Others like to make cookies or facetime a friend. Something. Anything, even if it's just taking a poop by yourself. :)) 

From CC: 

Just checking in to see if you had a chance to take a little time for yourself today? Or at least to retreat to your room and relax. 

From Mom: 

Hi, yesterday I had therapy which was really good. Today I asked my mother in law to stay with baby for an hour so I could do to the chiropractor and I had a great 30 min massage! 🥳 

From CC: 

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! THAT WAS HUGE!!! How did it feel? Was it so hard? Was it easier than you thought? You just seriously leveled up in new motherhood! If this were a video game you would have advanced to a new level! 

From Mom: 

Haha! Yea we discussed the asking her to stay with him at length with my therapist. Where I am probably over thinking and feeling like I am bothering her for asking and she is probably thrilled to feel that I trust her to stay with him. She even rearranged her schedule to stay with him. 

From CC: 

I am so happy for all of you! For your mother in law that got to feel trusted and who got special time with her grandchild and for you. <3 Serious win!!