Reframe

Negative Self-Talk

Here are some examples of negative self-talk:

•    If the baby is crying endlessly and can’t be soothed
     --“The baby doesn’t like me.” “I don’t know how to help him.”
•    If breast-feeding isn’t going well,
     --“I am a failure at this.”  “This is supposed to be natural.  Maybe I shouldn’t have even had a baby.”
•    If there are moments of negative thoughts or emotions like boredom or loneliness or anger,
     --  “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”  “I should be grateful to even have a baby”

Cognitive therapy teaches us to ask, “Is there another way to look at this situation?”  Another great way to approach negative thoughts is to ask, “What would I say to my sister or best friend if she believed this?”

This might lead us to the following calming thoughts:

•    “Babies cry.  Sometimes for no reason.  And that is okay.”
•    “My job is to feed my baby.  There are lots of ways to accomplish that task” or “The baby and I are learning a new skill.  Any new skill takes time and practice.”
•    “All feelings are valid.  Some moments will be happy or funny and some will be frustrating or boring.  I can notice these feelings, but I don’t need to judge myself for them.”
•    “I have no idea how other moms are feeling.  Chances are many other moms are feeling the same way as I am.”