Self-Care
Be kind.
We know this isn’t what you expected and it’s easy for us to be our own toughest critics, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to remember to be kind to you. This means talking nice to yourself and giving yourself grace while you might not be feeling 100%. It’s also throwing out all the “should's” and not comparing yourself to other women. This is hard and you will get better and it will get easier.
Open the shades.
Sunshine can be very healing. If you can’t get outside for a walk, open up the shades and let in the sunshine.
Eat protein.
Try to get some protein every two hours: a tablespoon of peanut butter, a handful of nuts, an energy bar, or a cheese stick. Protein can help keep our moods stable. Some women set up snacking stations where they feed the baby, which are little baskets filled with snacks and water in case they forget. It’s an easy way to get some nourishment.
Take a walk.
Getting outside into nature, and out of the house can be very healing. Sometimes this is easier said than done. For some women, this may make them feel more anxious. If it does, maybe pass for today. If it doesn’t, see if you can get outside to take a walk. You can ask a friend to join you. Listen to a podcast or some good music, or ask your family to join you.
Call a friend.
This can be one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Calling, texting, or Face-timing a friend who is understanding and supportive can lift up our spirits.
Listen to music.
Listening to music can lift a mood and give us hope. Do you have a song that always makes you feel better? Can you create a playlist that is your go-to for when you are down or need an extra push? If you need a little inspiration, check out our mom playlist here.
Take a shower.
It is so easy to let this one go when your day gets crowded with taking care of others. Adding a simple, warm shower can be restorative. Water is healing. If you can, ask someone if they can watch the baby or kids while you take a moment to yourself, and let the warm water soothe you.
Brush your teeth.
Again, like finding the time to take a shower, finding the time to brush your teeth can slip to the bottom of the to-do list when balancing the needs of everyone else. Adding back these simple routines can sometimes help us feel a little better.
Join a group.
Consider joining an online support group, or a closed Facebook group for pregnant and postpartum women who are having a hard time. Meeting with other women who are feeling just like you can be extremely healing. To know you are not alone can bring us hope that we are all in this together.
Accept the mess.
This can be really hard for some women, but sometimes letting the dishes and dirty clothes pile up is just what we need to do if it means being able to rest. Focus on just the basics for a while, not on perfection. Is the baby fed? Do my kids have some clean clothes? Find what is enough and let the rest go for now, so you can take a break. Allow yourself to sit down. Go outside. Take a nap, or do something that lifts your spirits.
Ask for help.
This may be one of the hardest things to do on this list, but it is the most important to learn as a new mother. We may be so used to being able to do things ourselves and now we may be shocked at how little we can do. Right now is the time to ask for help. Asking our partners for what we need like, “Can you take the baby so I can shower?” Or asking a friend, “Can you pick up my other kids while I nap?” Or asking a family member, “Can you watch the baby so I can rest during the day?” This is the first time in human history we are taking care of babies and families on our own, and it’s too much. Try to ask for help each day to lighten your load. Meal Train is an excellent app that lets your family and friends help you out. Check it out here.
Accept help.
Along with asking for help is being able to accept help, which is just as hard. When our family and friends ask if they can bring over anything, let them. If they ask if they can pick something up for you, let them. If they want to bring you groceries, offer to make a meal, help hold your baby while you nap, because the baby didn’t sleep all night, try to let them.
Discover your joy.
This is easier said than done, especially those first few months with a baby. Remember what you used to love to do, and plan to do it again in the near future; even just finding a tiny pocket of time, and asking for some help to watch the baby during this time can help you feel like you again. It could be riding your bike, doing a puzzle, reading a book, listening to a podcast, dancing, sewing, cooking, painting, or making something.. What helps you fill your cup back up?
Watch good things.
It is easy to get stuck watching the news, but sometimes it can bring us down. This is the time to pull out all the funny shows and movies you remember, or discover new ones. Watch something that makes you laugh and brings you joy. Fill your eyes and ears with good and fun things.
Find a therapist.
Consider talking to a trained therapist who is skilled at working with expecting and new moms, who may be having a hard time. Sometimes a couple of sessions may be all you need. Visit How to Access Care to learn more about where to find a therapist and what to look for.
If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately. If you're having suicidal thoughts, call 988 to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline).